Our worst week ever!!!!!!!!!

For those of you who are not aware, we have had the worst week ever, and the most stressful week ever and now that it is over, I feel more comfortable putting it on the blog.

Last week, we got a call from Tina's sister Debbie saying that a Department of Social Services worker called her about a report they got saying we were neglecting our children. The individual who called DSS was uncomfortable that our children were close to Kevin.(I'm pretty sure all the adults understand). Anyway, when the worker called Debbie, she told them that she couldn't say that we weren't neglecting them becasue she is in Oregon. She then detailed all of Kevin's history to DSS. Her conversation provided DSS with all the information they needed to investigate all of our family out here for neglect and putting our children in harms way.

Let's just say the Lincks and the Lantz's took this information and blew up. Being a social worker who knows people who work for DSS, I was confident that nothing would be found, and all would be well. Richard Lincks (RL from now on, ya know to many Dicks in the family) :)!!! found an article from an attorney he knew while he worked for the John Birch society. He specializes in DSS cases and has seen the worst of the worst. (Including cases where DSS took the children out of the parents home becasue of a bruise on the child's thigh. And no, I am not kidding) The Lincks and the Lantz's were preparing for war!!!!! (RL even kept little Richard home from school out of fear that DSS would take him away from them while he was at school). Over the weekend we tried not to think about anything as we had heard nothing from DSS about the matter. I thought that if DSS were truly concerned, they would have contacted us before the weekend.

When I got home from my first day at my internship, we had been served with papers saying that we were under investigation for neglect. This really sent us all over the edge. Tina called Debbie to let her know, and (from what I hear, I was at the internship) Tina really let her have it. Debbie refused to say she trusts us as parents. We really felt (and still FEEL) betrayed by Debbies accusations. But that's another story for another day. At this point, RL had almost made up his mind to hire his attorney friend. One of the things the attorney told him was to not let them into the house for the first meeting. Let them serve you with papers, and that is all. On tuesday, the investigator came over and I feeling that handing of the papers was over, felt I should talk to him. One of the first things he asked me is if Fannie was a regular caretaker of the kids. I almost laughed because Fannie NEVER takes care of the kids!!! ( I knew then and there that this report came from a friend of Debbies who is not even close to the situation). He asked about Kevin's history, and about what precautions we take while over at the Lantz's house. After talking to me, the investigator served papers to the Lantz's.

The news that I had let the investigator in and talked to him didn't go over to well with the Lincks and Lantz's. RL still thought that our only contact with him should be with an attorney. This made for a very STRESSFUL tuesday for me, as I thought that I had screwed up royally. I knew I needed to talk to someone, and I thought about calling one of my professors from last year, David o'Malley. He has been kind of a mentor for me. I quickly dismissed this idea, because I had NO idea when we could meet on campus. I drove to class that night and walked in the door, and guess who is teaching the CLASS!!!!! David O'Malley!!!!!! I knew it was a sign from the Lord and a truly comforting sign it was. We spoke on the way out to our cars, and he was so helpful in putting into words what I was feeling. He reminded me that I wasn't the first social worker to have a DSS case, and that it wouldn't affect my status as a social work student. It just felt good to talk to someone.

When I got home from school, the Lincks and Jenson's had a meeting and we decided to hire the lawyer. Mom told me not to get the lawyer. She told me she had prayed and she felt if we were honest and truthful everything would work out all right. We just felt that having someone there who knew the law would protect our rights. We also thought that even if the attorney is speaking for us, we have plenty of community witnesses who could vouch for us as parents. Wednesday was the worst day of my life!!! My stomach was in knots, and I still wasn't entirely convinced that having a lawyer was the right decision, I just didn't want to bring it up.

After my internship and class on Wednesday, I came home and found we were having a family meeting. RL had gone to see a psycholigist because he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The psychologist strongly suggested not using a lawyer becasue of the adversarial nature of having a lawyer. We had a really powerful family meeting and the SPIRIT was SOOOOO strong in the room. I shared my experience about meeting my professor. I also talked about Mom's prayer and as I said the words honest and truthful, Jenn got chills. Those were the EXACT words the psychologist used. We decided that not to hire an attorney. Each of us felt so much better about our situation after this meeting. The knots in all of our stomachs were released. Those knots were the Lord telling us not to use the Lawyer, and let this investigator see us as the good parents we know we are.

The investigator came over yesterday and met with each of us for about an hour. He asked some very personal questions and we answered honestly. He encouraged us to seek family counseling as a way in insure our safety plans for our kids are appropriate and safe. We agreed.

The investigator met with Richard and Fannie this morning from 8:30-9:30. After the meeting, he told them that he had NO FINDINGS OF NEGLECT (Take that Debbie). His investigation is over, and our file will be DESTROYED in a year. (Tina wants to send the shredded file to Debbie). :)

Anyway, we have truly been blessed as a result of this trial. We each feel closer to each other. We have felt the Lords love and concern for all of us. It is so exciting that it is all over. Thanks one and all for their prayers and for their concern.

Brandon and Tina